There's an empty space inside my heart

School is over, everything is over. And north-western Japan is dying. It breaks my heart.

white skies

There is something more in my life than the future that has gotten brighter

And spaceboy they'll kill me

It's up to you you know. The things you want to hold.

We went to the outside of Kyoto to go strawberry hunting. They were HUGE and tasted wonderful. And the greenhouse was so hot that we had to take our outwears of. It felt so much like summer. Although we failed our mission to steal some strawberries with us. Got a bit paranoid (as if it was a huge crime haha) and backed out the last minute. So no more strawberries for me. Well, until I get back home to Sweden of course, where strawberries are like half (or less) the price they are here. It's almost crazy how expensive they are here, I could buy 2 secondhand dresses for the same price I get 8 strawberries for. Guess what I choose.

You can never ever leave without leaving a peace of youth

The school's rooftop

When I was a little girl I always listened to Smashing pumpkins. I had totally forgot about them. It feels strange to listen to music you haven't heard in years, nostalgic. I don't even really listen to the genre anymore, still I can't help but to like them. Their sound is printed in my head.
The years burn.

Japanese festival

Att leva i japan. Obeskrivligt på så många nivåer. En hatkärlek.

Xavier's on the border of the sun

(If the weather is not just teasing us) Spring is on its way! It's about 10 degrees every day now and I walk around in my new jeans spring jacket. And it is making me come to life again. I can't live during winter, I just simply die. Now I've cleaned my room for the first time in ages, bought new spring clothes and want to feel that life is beautiful again.

I call to say I'm on my way

Skolan slutar om snart en månad, tiden går så fort.

I guess I couldn't live without the things that made my life what it is

Jag antar att det bara är svårt att nöja sig med att förstå men inte känna.

Jag vet inte var jag är om 2 månader.

You're lucky if your memories remains

My room was already small when I came here, but I seem to be making it smaller and smaller.

There is something wrong with my head. My whole life it seems to have been sorting out all kinds of information, all kinds of memories, without even asking me first.
I seem to have got it from my father, who is exactly the same. We just don't remember stuff.
My oldest friend keeps on telling me the stories of our lives. Stories that are completely new to me. Crazy stories, extremely interesting stories, that I want to remember. I just don't.
So I have realized that I need to write down my life, day by day.
So far I am on my second diary.

And in my thoughts I have bled

Aint that something

I bought a minimini digital camera. It was only about 170kr and can be put on my keychain. Way more convenient than carrying around a big system camera. (Which is exactly what I don't do - I never have any pictures to post)
So now I'm going in to the kitchen to celebrate by making some food. Sure the quality of the picture sucks of course, but he's my baby and now he will help me taking pictures of whatever I want whenever I want.

flowers in december

Midtermtests burning

The last weeks have been a long break and Kyoto turned cold. It even snows sometimes. My life froze for quite a while. Now things are starting to get back to normal, things are happening again, school, people have come back from their homecountries. I still feel a bit frozen though.
And I don't know if spring with its warmth will unfreeze me or if there is something way deeper than climate keeping me down.

The last 2 trips, to IKEA Osaka and schooltrip to who knows where. Ikea was heaven turned into a large building and the other (who knows where) place was really beautiful. Of course we behaved like alcoholics and started our party for the evening right there haha. But of course my camera went out of battery right when we got to the place. It was beautiful though.

Good looking looking good

Some of my good-looking friends

I väntan på din och min framtid

Att blunda, att ta sig i kragen. Att acceptera att allt förändras. Att livet kan levas. Och att glömma utan att egentligen glömma. För att drunkna är inte så illa om det får en att drömma och hoppas på att en seglande båt ska komma.

I follow you with my eyes closed

Temples and shrines close to my apartment, my crazy teacher who's teaching us how to say "more handsome than" in Japanese by putting himself next to a famous boyband, a festival in town, our "party-hangout-spot" in daylight, and a restaurant with crazy good food. The last picture I stole from darling Eleanor.

Except for that everything is wonderful and I'm enjoying myself to the limit I'm starting to feel how the motherf crazy speed in school and the constant partying is draining me of power. They don't really go together at all. But our teachers seem to do whatever they can to keep us from having a life. I've been tired the whole day, and when the half of me is back in Sweden (who I can't talk to anymore), and the day is filled with rain rain rain and no energy whatsoever it makes you feel quite down. But life is life. The important part is that it's not raining this weekend, when we are going to Nara, and a Halloweenparty which i still have no costume for.